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 Sermon on Wedding Bells

By Brian Pepper

Every young couple who stand at the marriage altar have the privilege of creating a home, that is, if they know the secret of happiness. And what might you ask, is the secret of happiness? The secret of happiness is LOVE. Love is a very over worked and misused word.
 

True love

True love is a very hardy plant which flourishes in trial and grows stronger as the years go by. Unfortunately many marriages are not founded upon love, but rather on some of its counterfeits such as pride, lust, and so on. It is very important for every young couple who are contemplating marriage to realise that if genuine love is not present in the marriage, then their marriage is doomed to failure.

But you might say, surely every bridal couple are in love. That is how it should be but scores of broken marriages tell us differently. You see 'being in love' is a deceptive term, because love as I said, is a very over-worked and misused word. Love has to be tested to see whether it is real or otherwise. And the only way we can test love is from the Word of God, for it is very clearly defined there.

1 John 1:4:8 says, "He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love." This text tells us that God is love. His character and personality is living love. I can learn what love is by observing how God behaves.
 

Love gives

And the first thing I learn about God is this: because God loves, He gives. John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life." Because God loves, He gives. And if your love is genuine, you will give too.
 

Love is unselfish

I would like to contrast this with the arch enemy of God and man, the one who is responsible for ruining so many marriages and homes. You will notice that his behaviour is quite different to God. Isaiah 14:13 says, "For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north". Verse 14 says, "I will ascend above the heights of the clouds: I will be like the Most High!" Did you notice that word that constantly recurs? I, I, I. I will do this, I will do that.

Now there is an important way of telling the difference between love and lust. Lust always puts self first, no matter how charmingly it does it. Love puts self last. Love never seeks satisfaction at another's expense. Love never treats a woman as a thing.


The greatest statement of this truth ever put into writing is found in the 13th chapter of 1st Corinthians. Whether you read it in any modern translation such as 'Good News' to Philips 'Letters to Young Churches', or the 'Living Bible', you will find that the same message comes through - that love is unselfish, love is kind, love is pure. The thing that we call love must measure up to this test. Do not be taken in by the feeble excuse "This is not the same thing, but it is just as good". Nothing is as good as love. Anything else will let you down within a very short time.


Imitations of love

There are some shoddy imitations that can be seen. The most common of these is the myth of sexual freedom. A lot of folk have forgotten that God is the author of sex. He invented it. And He has made it plain that sex in itself is not enough. Sex must be the creation of true love. That is why the Bible in the most clear terms denounces these things. I would like you to notice what is says in Mark 7:21 "For from within, out of the heart of man, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders".

Now I am going to ask you a question. Would you buy anything from Satan as a salesman if he were to come to your door? Would you be suspicious that he might take you down? Well if you were, you would not be wrong! Then do not fall for his sales talk of sexual freedom. If any one should have known that, it was King Solomon. Wise man that he was, he is the supreme example of a wise man becoming a fool in matters of the heart.
 

First essential in building a home

Now here is the first essential in building a home. Absolute and unswerving loyalty one to the other. Anything less that this will not do. Here is a warning against one of the many traps Satan has for young people. Proverbs 31:30 says, "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised." I like this rendering of this text "Charm can be deceptive and beauty doesn't last but a woman who fears and reverences God shall be greatly praised."

If you were to put this in modern terms it would go like this. You could marry a Miss Australia and within six months be hardly aware of her beauty. You must look for that vital element, character, and you will find it if you choose a partner whose first devotion is to Christ. Now I did not say "who is a Seventh-day Adventist" because unfortunately some Adventists are shoddy Christians.

Samson wanted Delilah because "she pleased me well." But it was not very long before she deceived him just as successfully. Yet fool that he was, he persisted despite his parent's advice.


Listen to the counsel of your parents

Young people rarely take heed of their parent's advice. Parents love their children, and they do now want them to do the wrong thing. I say to young people, if you respect your parents and value their counsel, listen to what they have to say. Young people wear rose tinted glasses and they cannot see the faults in the person they plan to marry. If they would only listen to Mum and Dad they could be spared heartache and trauma.

Esau married two heathen women "which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and Rebekah." (Genesis 26:34,35)

No one has your welfare at heart so much as the mother who bore you and the father who sheltered you. Listen at least to their counsel.

I have know many unhappy men and women who in self confidence have ignored the advice that would have saved them a lot of mental anguish. "Unless you would have a home where the shadows are never lifted, do not unite yourself with one who is the enemy of God." (5 Testimonies - EG White 363) If the one you love is not a committed Christian, your marriage will not keep its glow. And if his version of Christianity differs from yours, you ought to think carefully of the words of Amos in Amos 3:3 "Can two walk together except they be agreed?"

If people would only take need of this good advice, thousands of people, yes young people too, would never suffer the heartaches they do. Many will be lost because they failed to take heed of God's counsel to give up lovers who walk in the way of the world.


Test of absence from one another

Another test as to whether your love is the real thing, is what happens if you are absent from one another. There is a witty proverb which says, "Absence on love is like wind on fire. It blows it out or blows it higher." Absence of some weeks or longer is a real test of how deep and genuine ones love really is. There is the old saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", and another proverb which goes with it "Absence makes the heart to wander."


Infatuation

You know how that some folk are always 'hugging and squeezing', or 'mugging and kissing', 'pawing and clawing'. That is not true love, but is infatuation. Sensual infatuation always demands physical contact of some kind. You often see young folk grabbing each other and licking each other. That is not love at all, but one of Satan's sales gimmicks.
 

Companionship

Companionship is the very heart of marriage, that is, being content to be in each others company without having to be a wrestling contest.
 

Is he/she tidy?

Just for a few moments we will take a look at the fitness of your prospective mate for marriage. This goes for both sexes. If he or she is tidy, that augers well. But if untidy, then there is going to be trouble, for you will spend the rest of your married life picking up clothes from the floor, and cleaning up after them, putting things away in the wardrobe etc.
 

Maturity

Another very important factor is maturity. A mature person is able to make wise decisions. Unfortunately, many young people or young marrieds are unable to make wise decisions, but it is absolutely vital that they do for their future happiness depends on it.


Can she cook?

A young man may be looking out for a glamorous young lady to be his life companion, but it is very important that she should be able to cook. I assure you that glamour makes a very unsatisfying diet. I knew a lady who could not even boil water, let alone cook a meal.


Emotions

There is something else that is very important, it is the emotional climate. Is the young lady you are about to marry give to tantrums, or the shedding of much tears in order to get her own way. Once she finds that this works, she will use this time and time again to get her own way until the house is filled with misery and gloom. This can be very depressing for both the husband and wife. It would be very wise for the prospective husband to watch out for this, and if he sees this danger, he ought to drop her as quickly as possible. It could be a painful process, but far better than a life of misery.
 

Sense of humour

I hardly need to stress the fact that it is absolutely vital that both parties should have a sense of humour, especially if they can laugh at each other.
 

Homes should be a little bit of heaven

Here is a statement that will make you think, "There is no such person as an ideal mate but there is a terrible possibility that you will be deceived by Satan into contracting a hopelessly unsuitable union. He has no more effective way of closing heaven to you and your children than by marring your marriage." The Spirit of Prophecy (EG White) says, "Our homes should be a little heaven to go to heaven in."
 

Financial management

Now I want to move on to the consideration of the home you will be setting up. Before you bring a baby into this world, you must create an environment which will set a hedge against the evil about him. Baby's environment is very important. Financial insecurity is something you need to watch very carefully. There is the old proverb "When poverty comes in the door, love flies out of the window." With a reasonable deposit, you can buy a (second hand) Ford Falcon or some special car of your choice. But do not forget, if the car costs $5,000 you will pay nearly $10,000 for it. Resist the temptation to buy the first goods you see in the supermarket. Do what the experienced mothers are doing and shop around for specials.

It is very important to budget your income. Budget weekly for electricity, gas, train or bus fares etc. But above all, budget for the LORD. No one can afford to rob God. Malachi 3:8 says, "Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me, But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings." If a man robs God, he robs himself and his wife. And he did the buying while his wife pushed the trolley.
 

Share household duties

Some money should be your wife's. After all you would have to pay for a housekeeper, and yet you expect your wife to do it all for nothing. In our modern society, often both the husband and wife have to work in order to make the payments on their house or even to furnish it. This creates some problems. For if the wife has to work all day and then comes home and prepares the meals, cleans the house, this places a heavy strain upon her. Usually the wife is not as strong as the husband in a physical sense, and she tires more easily than he does. The husband can do something to help, for he can share the burdens and duties of the home with her. If he really and truly loves his wife, he will wash the dishes, sweep the kitchen floor and even do some of the washing.
 

Communicate with each other

Another thing you will have to watch out for is TV in the home. I have had folk tell me that their marriage nearly went on the rocks because of TV. If you want the wedding bells to keep on ringing in your marriage, you must learn to communicate. One of our church ladies left her husband because he never talked. She claimed that it made her a nervous wreck. TV is the best way to break down communication.

You ought to have been in houses I have been in. They eat tea before the set. If anyone spoke or said anything, they were told to be quiet. There they would sit until bed time or the station closed down. They watched anything and everything. I assure you that nothing wrecks happiness faster than misunderstanding.
 

Don't let the sun go down on your anger

Ephesians 4:26 says, "Be ye angry, and sin not. Let not the sun go down upon your wrath". The Living Bible puts it this way, "If you are angry, don't sin by nursing your grudge. Don't let the sun go down with you still angry - get over it quickly." Never go to sleep at night without having made things right between you. It is far better to retain your love than to win an argument. Never mind who is in the wrong, try to reach a settlement so there is no further tension.

Watch your wife carefully if she raises her voice in pitch and volume. You will know that something is wrong, that she is under tension. Just be careful how you handle the situation.
 

Listen to each other

One of the finest arts and the least practised is listening. If you practice listening, you will find a lot of things will begin to change. My wife often says "You are not listening".
 

Kind words

Now here is a real special, kind words. This is something we all need to learn. Proverbs 31:26 says, "She opened her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness." In other words, blessed is the man who is married to a woman in whose tongue is kindness.


Don't criticise one another in public

Be very careful you do not criticize one another in public. How often I have heard these words, "It's my husband who is the trouble", or "it's the wife". If you have something at all to say, say something nice.


Mutual respect

Mutual respect is another very important thing in maintaining the love and respect one should have for the other. Happy is the man who is greeted by a clean and carefully dressed wife. Her appearance tells the husband that she values his appreciation and praise, just as much as she did before marriage. Husbands, it is no compliment to your wife to go unshaven and hair uncombed to the breakfast table.
 

Spiritual responsibility

Now I would like to touch on another very important thing, and it is spiritual responsibility. It is the husband's privilege to be the priest of the household. He should be the spiritual leader. Begin from your marriage day to set up the family altar. Learn to study the Bible together. None can build a happy home unless they build it with God's blessing. Psalm 127:1 says, "Unless the LORD builds a house, those who build it labour in vain." (R.S.V.)

It is very important to keep in mind that in this life we are preparing for a place in God's new world. If our homes are little Edens now, what a wonderful start we have as we set up our homes in eternity. They should be a foretaste of Heaven. If you follow God's counsel that can be your experience.

 

  Sermons
The Bible in Song Sermons category is expected to be enlarged over time as hard copy sermon notes are scanned, typed and edited in webpage format. Visit Sermons Page for the complete list of sermons and Bible Commentaries
 

 
  PDF Sermon Files
Click image for sample. The Complete Sermon Collection is available at the Store Page. It includes 169 sermons which are listed on the Sermons Page, plus several audio visual sermonettes and a number of incomplete sermons. Original typed sermon notes have been scanned in PDF files on a DVD.

 

 
  PDF Revelation Files
Easy access to all the uploaded Revelation Bible Commentaries written by Brian Pepper. Also a CD of the complete Book of Revelation consisting of 22 PDF files scanned from original typed documents. These files can be downloaded by Adobe Acrobat to view on computer screen, or printed in booklet or other format.

 

 
  SDA Prophecy Chart
Bible in Song Sermons and Commentaries pages have exposed flaws in the "2300 day" prophecy chart most notably used by Seventh-day Adventists. Seventh-day Adventists in their biblical interpretation have favored the tradition of their founding fathers over Scripture and the "divine revelation" of their own prophet Ellen White. Read more.

 

 
 
  Testimonials
Thank you for posting some of (Brian Pepper's) sermons. It's like reading the very words Jesus has spoken to me and is a great encouragement. I cannot say that about many Pastors but I can say that about (Pr Pepper). Thank you. Robert @yeshuaskingdom.org (USA) ... more testimonials.

 

 
 

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